(and don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to side with feminism, ever, but now I finally gave this a quick thought.)

Why would God, then, make human females have such inefficient bodies, what with the bloodshed of an unused egg every month and all? Why don’t guys lose all their unused sperm from all the un-had sex monthly through a hole in their scrotum or something? Couldn’t there be contrived a more efficient female human being that has no need to lose an egg externally? Why can’t we just.. poop it out once a month (and poop normally all other times) and without the blood?

Seriously.

These fairly simple rules make sense. I hope that dudes heed them.

Today my Fashion class had a curious discourse about fetishism and what it entails in Sigmund Freud’s view when it comes to men. Then it shifted to the idea of fetishism in women and what Freud would say to be the reasons for it to exist in them as opposed to men. Somehow, someone brought up the idea that some investigators brought forth that inside, the female vagina looks like a penis. I didn’t catch the literal meaning of that (they passed around an illustration of the vagina resembling a penis, which I thought was silly) and instead imagined that the speaker meant the vagina is a perfect fit for the penis because of its internal shape.

Some lesbian exclaimed, “Oh, but this investigators are predominantly male and make assumptions fit in our patriarchal society!” This inevitably made me think, “Well, if it’s not for the penis, then what is it for?” After all, for a baby to, say, come out of there, a penis first has to be inserted and do its thing to conceive said baby. And, as it’s been noted across time and cultures, such has been the custom for, hum, thousands of years. If we ever wanted our ancestors to reproduce and bring humanity where it is today, they’d have to do it the dirty, patriarchal, bestial way — through sexual intercourse between man and woman. Despite sometimes wishing to not exist, I still thank my ancestors for figuring all that out, thank god. If anyone ever complains about certain predispositions in the male and female body for any intercourse between the two, I will have to punch them right between the eyes. Your mommy and daddy made you, whether you are now a misogynist, feminist, lesbian, gay, whatever. You were brought into this world through the traditional means of reproduction. Sure, now there is artificial parthenogenesis and inserting sperm into the egg by surgical means, but my peers were all born the natural way.

Now that this whole quasi-scientific part is out of the way, let me get to my point. The professor spoke of women’s desire and two types: vaginal (what she called mature) and clitoral (immature, not ready for reproduction). I sat in class, and my brain’s folds squirmed and seethed as I thought about what is natural at this point in our society. I hit puberty at age 8, had my first period at age 11 — theoretically, the second marks me physically mature to reproduce. That is, to be penetrated (the professor made a point of repeating how a physically mature woman wishes to be penetrated vaginally to reproduce), to receive semen, and to get pregnant.

Yet, since I was in my early teens I imagined vaginal sexual intercourse as something spiritual, not purely for reproductive purposes. Today, it is a carnal pleasure that people engage in for its own sake, not with further intentions of reproduction unless they consciously want a child. To me, sex is the idea of the ultimate closeness with someone very dear. In class, I thought to myself, “Well, certainly the ulterior motive for my wanting to achieve that highest state of intimacy is reproduction, even if unconsciously and even if it doesn’t get to that point! Isn’t that only natural?”

And then I thought. Well no, not necessarily. There is no way to prove the reason we have sex one way or another (that is, instinctively for pleasure or instinctively for reproduction, respectively). We can’t go back 200,000 years and ask the first man on Earth why he has sex. He probably could not even tell us. Yes, that substitutes the concept of instinct. But we cannot prove the existence thereof — sort of like the theory of gravity is so obvious to us, yet science is against proclaiming that something is “true” or “false.” I don’t find myself wishing to have a child. I simply find myself wishing to be penetrated, 7 years after I was considered physically mature to reproduce. And so, what is there that is forced by nature? How can we, in this day and age, tell apart social construct and pure force of nature behind our actions, thoughts, dreams?.. If there was never an innate wish in me to have a child — but there was one of wishing to experience the ecstasy of ultimate physical intimacy with someone very special to me, defined to me as sex — then what is my nature?