Flying
I’ve always liked to fly. Whenever my cousin would recall yet another dream in which she was gliding around her apartment from room to room I would gawk enviously as I listened hard.
Now, I fly on airplanes four times a year. But it is not the same. Here you got all this inertia-oriented physics: if the airplane was to suddenly plummet to the ground, I’d be flying (in a not-so-nice sense of the word) toward the ceiling. In an airplane you are still, and you are static if you were to ignore the laws of inertia.
I barely ever had dreams where I was flying. They were usually very blurry and much less convincing than many other dreams that found the way to creep into my reality. But, even when it was difficult, when my limbs just wouldn’t listen, I would do whatever it takes to keep myself in the air.
When I first tried the game Second Life and found out that my character could fly whenever I please to any location, I immediately took the opportunity. When she took off the ground, I thought it was me. It was taking effort to press down a key or two on the keyboard until she slowly, half-staggeringly, took off and flew higher and higher. It was so exciting, it was as if I was flying, man.
It took me a while to realize just how grounded I feel when I’m training for parkour. First I thought my bottom half was heavy, then my arms were weak, then my momentum just totally lacking.. and then I understood that I was simply so low to the ground, I refused to allow my body to fly higher when the obstacle so required. However, there were moments when I would practice with the same obstacle that I’d been trying from the beginning, and maybe I would run a little too fast, or maybe take one more step back from my starting point — but as I performed the simplest move I found myself flying over the obstacle, almost overreaching with my hand and legs and core. In flight I could see the ground and my body, clearly farther up from the obstacle than usual, my leg taking me farther away from the obstacle than it did before, almost reaching to a little tree in front of it… in that moment I was afraid to hit the tree, to hit the ground, to-to… to fly away!..
In that moment the flight became so real that I got scared. It was the most real feeling of flying I had ever experienced — forget all the dreams and the games — and I wish to feel it forever more.
At the same time, I got scared of parkour. I gave up on myself and on becoming any good at it. Typical of a girl, really. Typical of me, moreover.
On Sunday I took my half-brother out for a little walk and intro to parkour because he wanted it so badly for weeks now. All his friends left town and our dad went on a bike ride with some friends. Even though I couldn’t show him much, the couple things I could tell him about (and actually perform) made me feel good. My legs feel a little sore when I use certain muscles now, again, as if I was in Day One of parkour again. Maybe I am. Showing him one of the simplest things — and doing it well — made me feel like I could fly again. Like that potential energy is itching to be used. Maybe, just maybe…
