I want to write to an old friend.

It hasn’t even been two years since we’ve stopped talking. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, really.

We ended on fine terms. He even apologized for this decision and wanted to go back the moment he made it, but I wouldn’t waver now.

I’m not really sure why I was so “cold and aloof” then as I, as he told me, always had been, it seems, back then.

Maybe his situation with his girlfriend pissed me off enough and I wanted none of it, none of them, none of her jealous assumptions about our friendship.

I found two of the letters he sent me, real snail mail, pretty envelopes with Gary Cooper stamps and zodiac signs. One letter with a purposeful water stain, another envelope with a burn mark. A chapstick stain, my name written in Cyrillic.

The most romantic, platonic, spiritual, magical friendship I’ve ever had.

He inspired me in so many ways, he showed care so often. There was a Christmas card, a pink Fisheye lomo camera, a pin with the word “Annuals” on it, and lots of inspiring conversations online and through phone texts.

I simply wonder where this friendship could go now, how deep we could get, how lasting. But what do I say?

I want to send him a letter. I’m pretty sure he still lives under the same address. But I’m afraid to see it lost or thrown away.

I could just write to him on Facebook. But what is he like now? Is he back with her? Would he want me around? There shouldn’t be a reason for him not to, but you never know people.

I will send him a message on Facebook. I just gotta find the right words.